May this be one of the sweetest memories I have of this time in quarantine. Every weekend morning, I peek outside our bedroom window and see this. Jason and Ian on the deck. Jason with his coffee, Ian setting up Connect Four. And they sit and play while Joey is sleeping and I get my own cup of coffee.
Usually our mornings would be filled with getting ready to go, packing up for what the day has in store. I do feel that we are missing out on so much living right now. The joy of being and doing and connecting. Being carefree about just being with others. But I know that I am not ready for that yet. That I could not feel carefree right now. Masks and outside and 6 feet are the best I can do.
Because I am still scared. Of one of us getting sick. Of someone I love getting sick. Of Ian being high risk. Of knowing what the worst case scenario looks like. I have said it before but we know what it looks like to see your kid in the intensive care unit on a ventilator.
So home is where we stay. Our home that now has an even deeper meaning for us. It will forever be our safest place. So until we can embrace our old life with all its joy and connection and hugs, we continue to shift our focus, embracing this precious gift of time. Our Saturday mornings on the deck, drinking coffee and playing Connect Four.