We’re settling in for a long winter around here. Creating new traditions and cozy spots. Embracing the slower pace of our pandemic lives. Knowing that this is how it has to be right now. Seeking new memories found in being… being home, being together. But it still feels like there is a lot of loss woven in.
I’ve written about loss before. Like everything nowadays, it feels like a long, winding road. One where you can’t see what’s around the bend. And because of that, you can’t prepare for it.
I’ve seen this most in how Ian has struggled with the loss of Sunny. He talks about missing her, hugs his Sunny pillow as he goes to bed and shares his favorite memories of her. Bedtime is hard because in the dark and quiet, it is so very hard to quiet your mind. Tonight he came downstairs after we put him to bed and simply said, “I want her.”
The loss of his sweet Sunny who loved him through everything. Loss and more loss. Sometimes we just have to sit with it. Feel it. But when I see my sweet boy missing his best girl on top of missing everything else, oh my heart. I want her too.