A Glimpse Into the Future

The past two nights I have been able to get a glimpse into my son’s future. I’ve had the privilege of being a speech coach for self-advocates in Best Buddies’ Ambassador program. To work with these young men and women with intellectual and developmental disabilities as they crafted their own mission statement was — in a word — awesome. I got to bear witness as they proclaimed to the world who they are. Individuals. Young men and women who are capable, valued, worthy. Wanting what we all want. Connection and acceptance. Every single person on that Zoom call saw these young men and women as they saw themselves — capable, valued, worthy. I loved being a part of it, this glimpse into my son’s future.

I have such big dreams for Ian. To be honest, he has big dreams for himself. But, if I am also being honest, I sometimes wonder if they will come true. Mostly because I realize that his dreams rely upon someone else. They rely on someone else to see him as capable, as valued, as worthy. Whether his dreams come true has less to do with his ability and more to do with what others seen in him.

Oftentimes that label is the only thing that limits him — Down syndrome. Assumptions. Low expectations. Stereotypes. Can you imagine that? That you have very little control over what you’re able to do in your life if the right people don’t see the same in you? I do think our eyes have been more opened to that lately. People being judged on the one thing they cannot control, the one thing they cannot change. Knowing that others may not see you for who you are, just who they think you are.

So here I am, sitting on my deck as the sun sets and dusk settles like a cool blanket over the warm day. Twinkle lights around me. Candles burning, keeping mosquitos away and, at the same time, finding warmth in the flickering flame. The flame that bends and twists in the wind but fights hard against being snuffed out. Pushing back against the wind, the one thing it cannot control. Like our Ian. Shining his light against the wind, bobbing and weaving. Pushing back so others see his light. So they see him. Capable, valued, worthy.